Saturday, March 24, 2007

Slowpoke stands up for the Script Writers!

My Current Wallpaper out where the Wind Blows - sorry, I'm born to Geek! Follow the link to a great political cartoon website!
To be fair, regarding the corresponding blog jibes : the script geniuses behind the blockbusters / network shows lampooned in this one command millions-well, hundreds of thousands at least, for their work. And even writers at the arthouse or direct to DVD levels, i.e. the bottom make-well, more than I saw all of '06, according to my 1040EZ forms. Still, it does appear mediocre to horrible work pays better than good or great work, which is wrong, people.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Alternative Emblems for your Ride

Every ride should have one. Buy one before the RedShirts ban them.
(RedNeck + Brownshirt = RedShirt)

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Drunk Irishmen on Crack

We're overdue for a funny post here. When you're in Stamford, CT and you feel 'blagh', the place to go is Tigin's downtown. It's got cold pints, nonstop European rock and the best bangers & mash! And it's conveniently across the street from the Avon Theatre.
They also have the funniest placemats I've seen - currently a dissection of what is apparently a real Gaelic word, 'craic'-a coverall phrase for life and enjoyment thereof, e.g. joie de vivre, dolce vita, l'chaim, mahalo etc. What's funny about that is 'craic' is pronounced with a hard k-'CRACK'. Mixing this Gaelic pronunciation with the English examples is, well, interesting. The quoted passages are honestly and truly as they appear on the mat, as snapshot memory serves-
"Tigin's - get CRAIC here!" Like it's the only place in Stamford to get good Crack-er sorry, CRAIC.
"Avoid the embarrassment of improperly using your CRAIC when out with your friends." I wonder if the "Manners" lady from the "Bullshit" show, starring Penn & Teller covers that in her class.
"Use CRAIC liberally." WTF? Hey kids, it's fun!
"And when they ask you the next morning if you had a good time at Tigin's last night, let 'em guess and just say, "It was good CRAIC"." Yeah, that'll wake 'em up at the next team building seminar.

PS Happy Birthday to my sister, Stephanie on St Pat's Day!

Sunday, March 11, 2007

UPDATES: My web, My writer's groups

The eMail info for my website has been updated. If you have tried to use my old eMail info, I know - I'm the worlds worst admin. It's OK now.
The Alien From Avenue C is on the internets HERE. I've been working with other writers for a very long time now, in a kind of support group thing as we all go for the gold and try to make work that is meaningful and moving to other people. You must be a member to view. I'm also a member here, NYC group.
UPDATE: And my horror feature, The Prodigal Son, is up on Meetup! Again, you MUST be a member and it is recommended you be a screenwriter or relevant industry person/artist to join. Other links will be available soon for everyone to see.

Another essay about Your Favorite Celebrity

Wow, my blog is falling on hard times when I'm posting about this stuff. First Anna Nicole, and now... but I admit this weirded me out. This follows stories of Britney Spears wandering Miami, asking total strangers to "be her friend" - indicating a near-lethal blending of Ecstasy and tequila shots - and then trying to check into a hotel with only a half-scrawled credit card number to pay. Proving it matters not, having all the money in the world when you CAN'T FIND IT. Maybe Prince Ngembe of Nigeria can help her in securing an American bank account to funnel her money from - er, nevermind.
And now THIS. It reminded me of the underground horror fave "My Sweet Satan", where the protagonist enacts just this sort of horror. (It's out of print on DVD but you can contact the filmmaker here.) HOW? HOW does this happen? How does one transform from Britney Spears to THAT GUY?
And why do we care? What is so creepy about this? I guess it has a personal dimension as I've known and even been good friends with women who've been as bad off mentally (and without the deep pockets for only the best rehab centers that Ms Spears has), and it's hard to watch. Is it the Satanic aspects? Frankly, I know Satanists and they're good kids, with jobs and families and stuff. As much as your rational brain understands it's all lies and superstition, the fear is imbedded in your heart and these sounds and images conjure a chill that weakens you. As a movie writer and fan, I know Fear is not something you can control! Is it the blogging jackals from the industry, online now trying to convince us the story was just made up? Like when Kurt Cobain was just suffering from narcolepsy. How many thousands do the entertainment industry protect from prison and mental institutions every year? I always wonder.
I guess the only upside of this story is, Britney's next album is gonna be AMAZING. It will truly rock, If there is one. Seriously! Could this be her drop-acid-on-the-Love-Train-to-India moment? Her Sandbox in the living room? Yes, I'm referring to revered artists who were called bubblegum, and teenybopper, and "children's records" and worse in their salad days. You can huff self-righteously all you want, but get ready for Britney 2.0. Produced by Rick Rubin.
"For those of you who seek the reality behind Hollywood's most cherished characters...You probably shouldn't." - Berke Breathed

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Wanna Buy a Screenplay?

My receipt for Copyrights and for the WGA registry safely in hand, I proudly offer you my pitches for The complete first drafts (first two of many, many) of my two feature screenplays, No Prince Charming and The Prodigal Son.

No Prince Charming (breakup / midlife crisis drama)
LOGLINE: What would you do if you were attracted to an executive at your company? You would assume she doesn't need someone like you in your life. Are you sure?
Our hero is an aging bachelor with a high pressure, if outwardly dull, job. His fascination is a dotcom multimillionaire who owns the company he works for-together with her husband, with whom she appears to have a wonderful life and family. But he's deep in a merger that's about to go sour, and she's cheating on him with the gardener. When a bitter divorce eventually breaks out, she finds herself alone, downtown-and about to become good friends with the last person she'd spend a dinner date with....

The Prodigal Son (romantic horror)
LOGLINE: A vampire sets her sights on a unlikely prey: a streetwise prison parolee and addict.
Link is back on the street after 25 years in prison for dealing drugs, working a parole-enforced job in a convenience store, trying to stay straight and failing miserably. Lurking behind him is a British girl in the city, attending private school where she hides an evil secret appetite. Late at night, he gives in to his base desires, where she makes her presence known. She even visits him at his crap job, avoiding the vampire hunter in town looking for the legendary Bloody Lolita, and inviting him into her nocturnal world with the promise of salvation from his hopeless existence.

I also have a half hour sci-fi comedy called The Alien From Avenue C. This would be great for sci-fi TV, preferably cable due to adult language and themes, as they say:
LOGLINE: A UFO lands on a low-income apartment in NYC, and wreaks havoc and enlightenment on the residents.
When a UFO lands on a low income apartment in NYC, a trio of young girls take him in-to the delighted surprise of their father, an alien lore aficionado who's from another world-Africa-himself. It also attracts the attention of some local drug dealers, known as the Spritual Specialists, as well as a lady downstairs who is about to murder her husband.

Please eMail me with any questions or if you'd like to read. I'll be in a writing contest near you and on, or sites like it, as well as working with other writing peers before I start shopping for a production deal. I'm very happy about this, and I'm looking forward to busting into the writing and film business once and for all.

my Values is bigger than Your Values

Oh Theistic Deity I can't take it anymore. A full year and a half to the elections and the viciousness seems to be peaking. Blogger won't let me post the full essay because it's too LONG, so I'm linking to my webpage here.